We all know that God is in charge, right? If we are honest though most of us don’t think about it often and sometimes we forget entirely (but only briefly). God’s sovereignty is not something we think about often but it has become central to my life in recent years or maybe more accurately stated as recent months. Sovereignty is not a word we use much in America except for in theology. Those countries that have monarchies know more readily what it means. The sovereign is a supreme ruler. In England its technically the Queen even though her role is something of a figure head rather than one who actually governs. All that is stuff we Americans don’t understand. But enough about the land of great ales and bad teeth.
I have been thinking about God’s sovereignty as the situation our diocese is facing has developed. I hate to use the word developed because it sounds too positive. A better word is deteriorated. In the midst of it though has been the reality that my livelihood is at stake. In other words, should things totally fall apart, I might be ought of a job. This is frightening… until I recall that God is in charge. Some don’t understand how things could get to that stage but the simplest explanation is that if The Episcopal Church’s national leadership meddled enough in our business, a number of larger parishes would pull away from the mess which in turn would decimate the diocesan budget leaving no funds to pay staff. That is not to say that anyone is planning to leave The Episcopal Church. Please hear that clearly because many around the country believe that our diocese intends to withdraw and that is simply not the case. So, I watch the situation like viewing a chess match which is being strategically though out and I am a mere pawn in the game in the sense that I am expendable. God is sovereign though all this though and even as people make their moves and react to one another, I am aware that God already knows the outcome.
Now comes the second and perhaps more challenging reality to face in the knowledge of God’s sovereignty. It is a budget crisis of sorts. The economy has hindered giving in our congregations and the diocesan budget is dependent on the pledges of those churches. In recent years we have made drastic cuts to the budget and that has meant the elimination of staff positions and the suspension of programs. The most significant of which has been our Youth Ministry Apprenticeship. We have run this for the past 7 years with anywhere from 3 to 7 apprentices a year. About half of our current full time youth ministers are graduates of this program which teaches theology, Biblical exegesis, leadership, and youth ministry among other subjects. I don’t understand why a program that was so impacting has been suspended. Even more, I don’t understand why we have gotten to the stage where we are currently waiting to see if we have jobs for the coming year. If we do retain our jobs we will not have budgets to work with. My confusion is rooted in the observation that God has blessed this diocese and youth ministry here in a huge way and yet the whole thing may fall apart. It simply does not make sense to this mere mortal.
Here is where God’s sovereignty is giving me great comfort. I know that he is in charge and if the position ends, God let that happen for reasons I may never know. He will provide for my family even though it may be very very difficult. With two in college and one more going next year and a mortgage that I cannot pay for one month beyond my current income, I know that God will look after us. We will have to work hard, make sacrifices and seek other employment quickly. It may be that God opens another door rapidly or He may want me to experience what millions in this country have faced in recent years… unemployment. I don’t know how I would cope without this understanding of my creator and sustainer.
Leave a Reply